MacGyver
How-to: Make Yourself Look Awesome Hosting the Olympics
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008Oh China, you silly communist bastard… I can’t even count the times that you’ve captured me and I’ve escaped; how many times you’ve shot at me and missed; how many times I’ve fellated your women and got away with it (yea, that’s right…Mac’s got the yellow fever); and how many times I stole your secrets [...]
How-to: Get Free Gas
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008So I know a lot of you are feeling the “pinch-at-the-pump” these days. By pinch I mean the oil companies grabbing you by the balls and wrenching them like they’re the cover to your gas tank. And I can relate: those residual checks aren’t what they used to be, and my action figure [...]
How-to: Hide Porn on Your Computer
Thursday, May 29th, 2008Listen up, guys: McGyver will teach you how to dust over your internet footprints so that never again will your boss/girlfriend/mother be aware of all the weird porn you’ve been looking at.
Ok guys, screw the ingeniously fabricated widgets, it’s time for me to help you with something you can actually use: your computer. [...]
How-to: Die in Style
Tuesday, May 6th, 2008So I’ve had a bit of trouble coming up with what my first how-to should be. I was gonna do how to pick a door lock with a refrigerator freon cylinder, but I figured I’d catch a lot of shit from the wives for the broken fridges. Then I thought about the time [...]
Review: Grand Theft Auto IV
Thursday, May 1st, 2008When you work as an undercover operative for a company like the Phoenix Foundation, you start to become familiar with the seedy underbelly of the criminal world. Since my retirement back in ‘92 I’ve felt something missing in my life. Maybe I miss Murdoch’s clever schemes to kill me (God rest his soul), [...]