The Curse of William P(alin)enn
By Drew | October 24, 2008
Category: Insight & Anger
I’m sure that every true Philly sports fan out there knows about the Curse of William Penn and its supposed effect on Philadelphia sports teams. For those of you who don’t, allow me to explain: In March of 1987, the construction of One Liberty Place was complete, marking the tallest addition to the Philadelphia skyline to date. What an achievement! Philadelphia was quickly joining the ranks of other booming metropolises with their first true skyscraper. It would seem, however, that we were thinking too much about the future instead of respecting our past.
The new behemoth was no doubt a fantastic addition to our great city, but there was just one problem: Billy Penn has a small case of penis envy. You see, up until the construction of OLP, Billy was the biggest, baddest guy in town. He sat 548ft tall, maintaining a stern watch on all that was around (and below) him. But in that fateful month in 1987, he would no longer reign supreme. OLP stood at 945ft (397ft taller than City Hall for the mathematically deficient) just 3 blocks away. You know Billy was thinking ‘look at how much bigger it is than mine.’ And what do little guys with compensation issues do? They get angry, and in this case the statue of William Penn lay a curse upon the city of Philadelphia (and their sports teams).
Or so the story goes. So, ok whatever, supposedly there’s a curse on the city because City Hall is no longer the tallest building in Philly. Boo-hoo…anything to keep us from blaming the failed management of decades of Philadelphia sports teams. But I can sympathize a little with the believers of the Curse of William Penn, because I believe another curse has been placed over a particular spot in this city: The Wachovia Center.
For those of you who watched the Flyers’ season opener you know that Sarah Palin dropped the puck for the opening faceoff. There is not a doubt in my mind that she is responsible for the Flyers’ current winless streak. What does her dropping the puck have to do with the Flyers losing, you may ask? The answer: everything. This woman is the antithesis of our city. She hates everything we stand for, and just because she has a kid that plays hockey does not mean she is qualified to drop the puck in a city that she doesn’t even like, (and don’t worry Sarah, we don’t like you much either) or for a team that she doesn’t even support. She’s doomed us, I say, doooomed ussss!
So if you’re looking to place blame for the shitty start to the Flyers’ season, you can look at William Penn if you want… but I think he’s had just a little bit of help from “America’s Favorite Hockey Mom”
(And a friendly piece of advice for the St. Louis Blues: DON’T DO IT!)