Bernie Brewer Commits Suicide
By Jock | September 17, 2008
Category: Newswire (Fake News)
Details are still emerging, but reports out of Milwaukee indicate that Bernie Brewer has drowned himself. After watching his beloved “Brew-Crew” lose four straight to the Phillies, then witnessing Carlos Zambrano hurl a no-hitter in Miller Park, the depressed mascot fastened a sack of baseballs to his right leg and made his final slide into the crisp, refreshing abyss.
After draining the 8 ft. mug, police also found the decomposing body of Ned Yost.