Inside the 2008 Beijing Olympics: Secret Footage!
By Poor Li Hung | August 11, 2008
Category: Special Features
Poor Li Hung is our senior Olympic correspondent in Beijing. Whenever possible, he will file ultra-secret reports from internet cafes in China so that we in the west will know what’s really happening over there - not the choreographed version delivered by NBC and the repressive Chinese government. He’s invented a program to subvert the Great FireWall; however, it has a few glitches, and we will try our best to transcribe his reports.
Live from China, August 11 2008, 11: 05 PM
Herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrro, America!
Poor li Hung here, live from an internet café in in 珠江三角洲! Hold on, I will take a picture with my webcam! Did it work? Yes, there I am! I am the Asian guy at the computer! See me?
hahahahahah! Lol! Lol!
I have lived in China for over 40 years, and I’ve never seen such excitement in the streets! Look what happened on my way to the opening ceremony. I was nearly trampled to death!
Opening Ceremony Faked?
When I finally got there (an hour late!), I have to say, it was pretty amazing. However, it didn’t really look the way you saw it on TV. Those giant footprints across the sky?
As the ceremony got under way with a dramatic, drummed countdown, viewers watching at home and on giant screens inside the Bird’s Nest National Stadium watched as a series of giant footprints outlined in fireworks processed gloriously above the city from Tiananmen Square.
What they did not realise was that what they were watching was in fact computer graphics, meticulously created over a period of months and inserted into the coverage electronically at exactly the right moment.
The fireworks were there for real, outside the stadium. But those responsible for filming the extravaganza decided in advance it would be impossible to capture all 29 footprints from the air.
As a result, only the last, visible from the camera stands inside the Bird’s Nest was captured on film.
The trick was revealed in a local Chinese newspaper, the Beijing Times, at the weekend.
Gao Xiaolong, head of the visual effects team for the ceremony, said it had taken almost a year to create the 55-second sequence. Meticulous efforts were made to ensure the sequence was as unnoticeable as possible: they sought advice from the Beijing meteorological office as to how to recreate the hazy effects of Beijing’s smog at night, and inserted a slight camera shake effect to simulate the idea that it was filmed from a helicopter.
“Seeing how it worked out, it was still a bit too bright compared to the actual fireworks,” he said. “But most of the audience thought it was filmed live - so that was mission accomplished.”
Secret Events
NBC is hoarding the rights to these games (why you won’t see video clips on the internet, except at their site) and has already earned over $1B in advertising revenue. However, I was able to capture video from some of the more scandalous events at the games.
Judo
Gold: UK
The Precision Vault
Gold: USA
Power Lifting
Gold: Ukraine
That’s all for now, readers. I must go. There are many events to see, but I will be back soon with another report!
Until further notice, I am Poor Li Hung.
August 13th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Quick rant here with respect to the Olympic rules, and the Chinese women’s gymnastics team in general.
I don’t know if you saw the team, but they look like a bunch of unborn fetuses.(http://images.beijing2008.cn/20070615/Img214097742.jpg) As ESPN commented, “The average size of the six-member Chinese team is 4-foot-9 and 77 pounds (that’s 13 pounds lighter than Johnson, who is also 4-foot-9), and gymnast Deng Linlin doesn’t even break the 70-pound mark.” Thats ridiculous. The rules of the sport should be clarified, however most of us would agree these should go without saying…
1. You must be at least a toddler to participate, no fetuses.
2. You must weigh more than a rice cake (apprx. 3 ounces.)
3. You must demonstrate that you are human, and not descendant from Uranus.
- Posted by the Poopy Bandit.
August 13th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Have to agree with you Jock.. but the more you read about China, the less shocked you are.. They pulled a 7 year old girl who sang the opening ceremony because she wasn’t cute enough.. instead they had a cute little girl lip-synch the song instead. Sorry hun, you’re too ugly to represent the country.. Great voice though, we’ll take that. Sounds like they are a bit concerned with appearances- like people from Long Island- Jager Bombs!
August 13th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I dont blame china for that little girl, did you see how ugly that bitch was?