Bears Announce Retirement of Rex Grossman
By Jock | July 24, 2008
Category: Newswire (Fake News)
CHICAGO - The NFC North’s most famous QB controversy came to a close yesterday as the Chicago Bears formally announced the retirement of quarterback Rex Grossman.
“We wish to thank Rex for his outstanding contributions to the Bears organization,” said coach Lovie Smith. “Rex has been our rock, a really heavy one, in fact, and we’ll miss him greatly. But I think it’s best we put the Rex Grossman era behind us and move on.”
Grossman, who’d just arrived at training camp hours before with all his equipment, seemed confused. “Wait, what? I’m just going to practice now. What are you talking about?”
Some players, like linebacker Brian Urlacher, thought Grossman’s comments were selfish. “You can’t go having the organization making you retire, then you saying you’re not retiring, back and forth, and so on. It’s distracting for the players on the roster. Right now we need to concentrate on winning football games…or else losing lots of them so we get Tim Tebow.”
Asked if they knew of any quarterbacks that may be available to fill Grossman’s spot in the short term, Smith said, “Hmmm. No, I haven’t heard anything. Nothing at all.”
As for Grossman, he said he was considering a switch to receiver, his natural position in college:
July 24th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Cue Rex Grossman’s lawyer’s takedown request in 3…2…1…
September 15th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
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