Why Mike Richards Will Be a Better Captain Than Crosby and Ovechkin (and if you don’t agree, you don’t understand the role of a hockey captain)
By Lonnie McKenzie | June 2, 2008
Category: The Frozen Mullet, Would You Rather?
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Hey, this question is for Lonnie McKenzie. I loved your call of Alex Ovechkin as The Graceful One in The Mullet the other week, but, respectfully, I think that name should be given to Crosby (with all the Gretzky parallels, ect.) So here’s a WYR that seems obvious at first, but might not be: if you wanted to find the ideal captain, would you rather have Ovechkin, Crosby, or Mike Richards?
-Andy, East Falls
Hey, Andy, thanks for the great question and I’m glad you’re enjoying the Frozen Mullet. This question has been floating around for weeks now- Who is the best cornerstone for a franchise- Crosby, Ovechkin, or Richards? Who would make the best captain for a team starting from scratch? etc.. And I think when you really study the different players you always come down to the same answer- Mike Richards. Now hold on, all you Pittsburgh and DC faithful whose buttholes just puckered up. Let’s look at the different ways these players effect their teams.
Sidney Crosby
Pros- Without a doubt a great offensive player who knows how and when to pass and shoot. Gets credited throughout the league for hustle and hard work throughout the season- practice, games, showertime, pocket-pool. Tagged the next Great One before stepping on the ice in the NHL. Like-a-bility- 5
Cons- Whining and crying- not respected by veterans; known for diving; wouldn’t hit you even if you donkey-punched his sister and spit on his mother. Given captaincy in 2nd year. Gay ads like the one next to this. Terrible, nausea-inducing facial pubes. Often given credit for way more than necessary (usually when attempting to make a play and failing Barry Melrose, Pierre MacGuire, Doc Emerick, or some other putz exclaims what an amazing effort he put out… guess what, if you didn’t score, it didn’t matter). Overall hate-a-bility- 9.5.
Score (Worth to Team from Scratch based on bringing wins, Stanley Cups, and overall hockey respect to the team)- 8.5
Ovechkin-
Pros- knows how to shoot, from anywhere. Single-handedly lifted his team from bottom feeder to playoff contender. Improves quality of players around him when they aren’t staring wide eyed and drop-jawed. High energy and loves the game. Can lay a big hit from time to time. Like-a-bility- 9
Cons- Not US/Canadien born (language barrier).. obviously a bit of a diver after watching Round 1. Doesn’t kill penalties or hardly any D. Ugly as sin. Too good for his team and locked down for next 13 years. Better be praying for Homer to switch teams and does a Flyers-style makeover for the Caps. Hate-a-bility- 6
Score- 9.00
Richards
Pros- Epitome of hard work, plays big when his team needs him:
Richards can also drop the gloves and beat your ass or beat you on a breakaway. Plays all game- even strength, pp, pk (nasty at anticipating and scoring shorthanded), shootouts. Knows his role and respects guys who have been in the league- Bonus. Nothing too flashy, just an honest days work and a hatred of losing.. Like-a-bility 10
Cons- Doesn’t have the speed or stick-handling of Ovie or Skid-mark. Plays too much (if that’s possible). Sometimes waits ’til the third period to remind everyone how good he is.
Hate-a-bility- 0 in Philly, 3 anywhere else in the world, tops.
Awkward Commercial Score: 1,000,000
Overall Score: 9.9
There you have it folks… Ovechkin might make you watch the game with half a chub, Crosby might baffle you with getting away with murder and still complaining, but if I was going to start a franchise today, I’ll take first pick, you get next two- I’m taking Richards. Guys want to play with players like Mike Richards. Knowing he is there to back them up lifts other players’ confidence. Look what he did for guys like Jeff Carter, Umberger in Paradise, Scottie Upshall, and even Briere and Prospal (in the regular season)… Richards makes the team dangerous at all times; and that type of confidence is contagious. The Caps and Pens don’t have that kind of confidence, because unless Crosby or Ovechkin do it themself, there is a lot of looking around and hoping.
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:56 am
I was on Yahoo and found your blog. Read a few of your other posts. Good work. I am looking forward to reading more from you in the future.
Tom Stanley
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:11 am
you fairweather pansies in philly would give an arm and a leg (and richards…and carter) to have either ovie or crosby. you guys blow. vengeance this.
pens are gonna win 5 cups in the next 10 years, minimum.
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:20 am
Actually, Lonnie is from Canada you moron. And come to think of it, when things weren’t going so good in Pittsburg, they were going to get rid of the team (remember the contraction talk)… Don’t remember ever having that problem in Philly. The team sold out games last year when they were the worst in the league and will always have a more dedicated fan base than any Pittsburg team of cry-babies and over-hyped talent. Even Rothlisberger tried killing himself on a motorcycle after a few years there. Do yourself a favor, and follow suit.
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:49 am
from an article on Peter DeBoer, very respected in the world of hockey:
“When Mike Richards was 18, Peter DeBoer watched him lead his Kitchener Rangers to a Memorial Cup title with 27 points in 21 playoff games.
When Richards was 19, DeBoer watched him captain Team Canada to a gold medal in the World Junior Championships with five points in six games.
And when Richards was 20, DeBoer watched from afar as Richards led the AHL Phantoms to a Calder Cup with 15 points in 14 playoff games.
DeBoer was asked what the future holds for the star-struck center from Kenora, Ontario.
“I have no doubts that before he’s done Mike will win a Stanley Cup in Philadelphia,” DeBoer said.
“I’m so sure I’d bet my house on it,” said DeBoer. “This kid wins championships. The days of me doubting Mike Richards ended about two weeks after I started coaching him.”
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
captain of team Canada, 2005 world juniors: Mike Richards
on roster but not captain: Sidney Crosby
More points in tournament Jeff Carter or Sidney Crosby: Jeff Carter (10)
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
that BMW commercial slays me every time
June 3rd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Lets leave mediocre playoff beards out of this. Sid is 20 years old, his beard should look like that of a child molesters. Also, it is true that the pens were almost sold. But they were not. This is thanks to Mario. I doubt any former philly players would have the same dedication. There is no better town for sports fans than Pittsburgh. Everyone knows this. Even you cry-babies in philly. Go to any city in the world and people have heard of the steelers. There is a steelers bar in EVERY city in the world. We come to your town on gameday and run shit. We tell you whats what on gameday. We are as dedicated as soccer houligans. They don’t call Pittsburgh the city of champions for nothing. That’s something we earned. Why don’t you all wait until YOU have earned the right to boast yourselves, and until then you can just fuck yourselves. Checkmate, phags.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Clever response, but one thing. We have the best fans in the world, that’s why we won’t ever need anyone to help keep the team in business. And we have had players who are in charge of the organization, and when things needed to change, they stepped down and made room for it. Pittsburg enjoyed some success on the gridiron in the 70’s and on the ice in the 80’s and 90’s but they still couldn’t hold a light to the dedication we have for every team in Philly. Everyone has heard of Pittsburg, and they all have the same response, “What a shit-hole”. Noone cares about your sports teams, except in the past tense. I heard the steelers were moving to Akron anyway.
June 5th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Muck,
Its time for you to go away now, the penguins got embarrassed. Go pirates!
Pissburg doesn’t even have a basketball team. Second class city. There are stiller bars everywhere because the people that have the brains to leave pissburg leave and miss the ‘camaraderie’ (butt sex) start them so they can drink thier pathetic little lives away.
You guys sure do run shit in indy, or in New england, or in Jacksonville, oh wait.
Eat Shit
your friend,
Falese
June 9th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Correction. Game 5. Phlyers at Pens. That was embarrassing. I’ll go away now. And I’ll tell you what. I’ll stay away for about five years or so… at that time we’ll see how many cups the pens have won. I guarantee it’s more than any championship all of your teams combined can win. (the key word there was GUARANTEE). Oh, and that includes all philadelphia based women’s softball. Enjoy another losing season next year.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
don’t be bitter. the unemployment office will still be open.
Your friend,
Falese
July 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
For my whole life i have been a flyers fan, and after seeing the penguins manhandle the flyers in the playoffs i can only say congratulations. You fnally won a playoff series against us. I have respect for malkin….world class player, he deserves all the credit that he gets. No one better in the league can set up in the offensive zone then crosby its true. But cut the whining and diving bullshit already. Everyone is sick of it and quite frankly, its the reason he is so hated. If he was half the true and honest player that richards is, he would be loved and respected. But he’s not. Richards isn’t even the true captain yet and he’s a better leader.
go flyers
fuck crosby
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:15 am
Whatever you need to tell yourself, but bottom line is there is not a Coach, GM, or intelligent person that would rather have Richards than Crosby. This argument is irrelevant. I’m not sure I noticed Richards in the Pens Flyers Playoff series. Enjoy getting outclassed by the pens for the next ten years, the Flyers were lucky to get ONE game against the pens. Richards is not Bobby Clarke no mater how delusional flyers fans may be.
September 30th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
good post.
but ovechkin creams all. he will become a better leader once he learns more……ENGLISH
December 18th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
if crosby or ovechkin ever drop the gloves with richards he will kick their ass. fairweather pansies in philly? if you ever come here ill make sure i kick your ass. there is a steelers bar in every city of the world?haha. and crosby should be able to grow a beard hes just a faggot so he grows whatevrr he grows. and yea your as dedicated as soccer houligans in america where people couldnt caree less about soccer. ovechkin sucks.richards may not be bobby clarke yet. but quit the bullshit that crosby is the next great one. unless hes sucking your dick he’ll never be the next great one.the penguins will never win a championship because they traded their whole team to get hossa last year and then he left because he hated it. hossa was the only reason you got to the third round and a healthy flyers team wouldve still kicked your ass last year.the flyers are ready for the future the pens pay their whole salary cap to malkin and crosby.
go flyers
pens caps suck
mike richards i would pick anytime for my team.