Wanna Bet?
By Jock | May 5, 2008
Category: Local News
ATTN: All mayors, congressmen, city councilmen, talk show hosts, janitors
RE: A novel idea
Not sure if you’ve heard, but the Flyers are taking the Penguins in the Eastern Conference Finals. That’s the PHILADELPHIA Flyers vs. PITTSBURGH Penguins. In case you didn’t know, both of those cities are in PENNSYLVANIA, making this an ALL-PENNSYLVANIA series.
Now, I know this idea is a little “outside the box” but I was thinking to capitalize on the enthusiasm we could stage a “friendly wager” between our two fine cities. Similar things have been done in the past, mostly of the “you lose, we’ll send you a box of cheesesteaks, we lose, you send us a box of ketchup” variety. But who the hell wants an old box of cheesesteaks? I know I sure don’t.
That’s why I think we should take it up a notch. Here are three ideas I came up with my advisors.
If We Win: You Take All Our Homeless People
If You Win: We Take All Your Homeless People
This was an idea pioneered by the brilliant sociologist DJ Gallo over at the sportspickle.com.
If We Win: John Street Has To Be Your Mayor Until 2027
If You Win: John Street Has To Be Our Mayor Until 2027
John is teaching at Temple, so he may have to work from home, but it shouldn’t be a problem.
If You Win: You get the rights to Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, and Cole Hamels.
If We Win: Um, we’ll just take your stadium.
We’ll just hitch in onto Ed’s limousine and drag it right down I-80, all the way to Chester. Let me know what you think and we can arrange the proper media coverage.
Regards,
Michael Nutter