Rocky Statue Under Attack!
By Jock | May 8, 2008
Category: Local News
Security levels in Philadelphia have returned to orange level after terrorist plot to defile the Rocky statue was thwarted overnight. This message was discovered on craigslist:
Need to recruit someone who is a Pittsburgh native, living in Philly. I want you to put a Penguins jersey on the Rocky statue and take pictures. I am going to send it in to the Post-Gazette and other media outlets to show some pride. If you are interested please reply to this ad ASAP.
In response, the WIP morning team dispatched 23-year-old Mike Prince to stand guard at the statue.
Prince, wearing an “Orange Crush” Flyers T-shirt and a red Phillies cap, sounded determined to prevent any - further? - Penguin shots on goal.
“It would be a sacrilege to Philadelphia, because Rocky is our hero!” he said, tapping together two three-foot weenie-shaped inflatables he called “thundersticks.”
His other motivation: For doing this, WIP promised him two tickets to Tuesday’s Flyers game.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
The unfortunate part is I don’t think Pittsburgh has anything we could defile… I mean, have you ever been to Pittsburgh? Ugh. Awful.
May 8th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
pittsburgh does a good job of defiling itself. what a shit hole.
May 9th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Agreed, nothing good has ever come from Pittsburgh
May 19th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
the only good thing to come from the Burgh…..EASTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPS BABY go pens…..
May 20th, 2008 at 10:40 am
And somewhere Gary Bettman is the meat in an Oveckin/Crosby sandwich….
May 24th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
lol i love when people hate pittsburgh. It’s only jealous. 5 time super bowl champions and about to win another stanley cup. why do you fags gotta hate?
May 25th, 2008 at 12:26 am
its only jealous? typical pissburgh illiteracy.
go wings.
May 27th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Pittsburgh down 0-2 for those keeping track (Mike, Kendall)
May 28th, 2008 at 12:17 am
with no goals…
June 2nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Without the steel made in Pittsburgh over the years, NONE of your cities would have even been built. Period. The modern world has a lot of Pittsburgh-ass-kissing to do. Go Pens!
June 2nd, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Oh, and I used to live in Philly. POS town, everyone is fat. Nobody reads. It is adjacent to Jersey. You eat cheesesteaks with cheese wiz, that’s not cheese, retards. And, it has more burnt out abandoned buildings than east London. Hey, I’ve got an idea. Kill yourselves. Pens in 7.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:26 pm
MUCK, welcome to the website. First I would like to thank you for moving out of Philly. You’re helping us get rid of Pittsburgh sympathizers one douche bag at a time. Second, thank you for your steel to build our cities? Wow, that’s a friggin stretch. Why don’t you thank us for the creation of the constitution and the country that your crap-ass city exists in. Moving on, I’ll address you on a point-by-point basis.
Everyone is fat: I can’t really argue this, mostly true. But I can guarantee you that most of us have all of our teeth and aren’t married to our first cousins.
Nobody reads: Hmm, I’m reading this site right now.
It’s adjacent to Jersey: I got news for ya bud, Pittsburgh is the New Jersey of Pennsylvania.
Your last two points are, ironically, in fact retarded, requiring no rebuttal.
I have a better idea, kill yourself…you like Pittsburgh. Tune in tonight so you can see what a game 5 Stanley Cup win looks like for Detroit…
June 3rd, 2008 at 9:15 am
The constitution? That hasn’t been honored in years. Nice job. Don’t like steel? Go make a house of straw little piggy. West Virginians marry their cousins, not Pittsburghers. Oh, and without looking it up… can you even tell me where a library is located in Philly? Enjoy a long lifetime of crappy sports teams. I recommend putting your head through a noose and standing on a block of ice. Maybe wear some electric socks to be sure. Pens win again!
June 3rd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Or you could just walk around in, oh I dunno, pretty much any part of philly and wait to be shot. Your ghetto-ass town is one big Hooverville.
June 3rd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Muck just killed himself. I’m mailing you his carcass. Please shoot it out of a cannon when the pens win the cup.
June 3rd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Nobody goes to the library so why would you need to know where it is? Don’t try and sound like Pittsburg is the intellectual capital of the world. If anyone who lived there had any sense at all, they would have left after realizing what a shithole the place is. Quick, without checking Wikipedia, name something worth doing or seeing in Pittsburg.. There is nothing. Here is what your professional athletes do to try and forget they have to be in Pittsburgh for 6 months a year… http://predominantlyorange.com/2007/10/18/embarrassing-photos-of-the-pittsburgh-steelers/
June 3rd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
How about watching the pens win the cup? That’s what we do in Pittsburgh. And Big Ben? What? You didn’t drink when you were in your twenties? I guess you were too busy running for your life through north Philly to find a bar. Murph, if you are going to make retorts, please make original ones. Your line about not checking wikipedia sounds a little familiar… speak your own thoughts, not someone elses. Also, I don’t understand how you can justify calling Pittsburgh a shithole when your entire city can be boiled down to dilapidated rowhomes inhabited by addicts. Go sit by a window and see how long it takes before you hear machine gun fire ya fuckin’ woman.
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:32 pm
OK, that’s all, been fun but you two can exchange emails and continue this one from here.