Intimate Conversations: Sidney Crosby
By Stephen B Smith | May 13, 2008
Category: Stephen B. Smith
Welcome everybody to the new, improved phillyjock. TECHNICALLY we launched last week but AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL nobody told me about it. IT’S JUST like them. Well anyways for THOSE of you who don’t know who I AM STEVEN B SMITH. I’m originally from PHILLY. Yes you heard me right. JUST IN CASE you weren’t listening that’s Philadelphia, the city of BROTHERLY love. I HATE the Phillies, I HATE the Eagles, I HATE the Flyers and I forgot the Sixers even EXISTED. I’m at ODDS with the EVENS, I AM A VOICE WITH NO TONE MODULATION. MY INFLECTION IS IMPERMIABLE, MY CANDOR CANTANKEROUS, I AM THE GREATEST TALKING HEAD OF ALL TIME.
ON with the interview. TODAY IS A BIG day I’ve got the GOALIE from the PITTSBURGH PENGUINS CINDY Crosby.
SBS:Cindy welcome to INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS, you ready?
SC:Thanks Steve, I’m ready, it’s Sidney by the way.
SBS: CINDY it’s STEVEN, WITH an N. Anyways CINDY what’s the deal with this skating sport you play? Apparently it’s considered a major sport.
SC: Yea Steven, the NHL is back and better than ever. This year’s playoffs have been the best in a long time. We are playing the Flyers, one of the toughest teams in the East.
SBS: THAT’S great CINDY. I’m a big fan of FIGURE skating. Do you have any GOLD MEDALS?
SC: Steven, it’s not figure skating, it’s ice hockey..
SBS: CINDY I don’t care WHAT YOU CALL IT. I see you skating with an ugly RUSSIAN guy named Evan and you are CONSTANTLY crying to the JUDGES about your SCORES. THAT, TO, ME, SOUNDS LIKE FIGURE SKATING. Ok CINDY on to more pressing matters. What do you think about MAMBA?
SC: Mamba? Like the bar on 13th and Walnut?
SBS: KOBE, MAN, CINDY What are you doing during the playoffs?
SC: I’m playing Philadelphia-
SBS: AND MAY THEY WHUP YOUR ASS! WHAT’S that SHIT on your face BOY? DID you BUY THOSE FROM SCOTT TENNERMAN? THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER. GET OUTTA HERE, PUBES.
ITS THAT TIME
This is a weekly column SO every week I’m going to hand out the KWAME BROWN BONAFIDE SCRUB AWARD. In case your not familiar, let me throw it over to my more-docile younger brother, Stephen A:
This PRESTIGIOUS AWARD will go to the person/team/WHATEVER that I DEEM A SCRUB.
The first EVER KWAME BROWN BONAFIDE SCRUB AWARD GOES TO………….
KWAME BROWN!!!