WYR: Tyson’s Pigeons / Hockey Hit
By Jock | April 28, 2008
Category: Would You Rather?
Question: Would you rather take one round in the ring with 1989 Mike Tyson after feeding his pigeons alka seltzer or skate around a hockey rink for sixty seconds with your head down, wearing an Eric Lindros jersey, knowing that Scott Stevens was out on the ice?
Murph, H-town
Jock: I can’t imagine ANYONE scarier than psychopathic, 1989 Mike Tyson racing across the ring toward me…accept for possibly 1989 Mike Tyson after the mutilation of his pigeons. Of course, things are different now that the guy is pumped full of downers. But back then he was like a combination of Muhammad Ali, Son of Sam, and Atilla the Hun—part technician, part cold-blooded killer, part barbarian. Do you really think either of your ears would be attached to your body after that round? By the time the bell rang he would be making Ron Artest’s foray into the stands look like recess; about seventy-five bigwigs at the MGM Grand in Vegas would by lying a pool of blood. I’m not even sure who could stop him, maybe other than 1991 Tecmo Super Bowl Bo Jackson.
So I think that pretty much answers your question. Obviously, getting demolished into the boards by Stevens would be no fun—but I’ll take a concussion any day. At least my head would still be attached to my body.