Pacman Jones Donates Million Dollars to Stripper Named Charity
By Jock | April 25, 2008
Category: Newswire (Fake News)
Striking back at those who claim he just doesn’t get it, NFL bad boy Adam “Pacman” Jones has announced the donation of one million dollars to Charity, a stripper at his local gentleman’s club.
“I believe this shows everyone out there what kind of person I am,” Jones said, standing beside several club VIPs. “So for everyone out there who wishes to vilify me, you can now step forward and I will bitch slap you with this giant cardboard check. Thank you.”
Jones’ lawyer, Ruben Nifkin, explained the court-ordered donation would be paid out monthly over the next eighteen years.
“Mr. Jones is spreading the seed of generosity all over the nation,” Nifkin said. “He is a true role model for America ’s youth.”
On a sad note, Charity’s longtime partner in the shower show, Hope, was not present at the announcement.
It is not known if she will ever return.