Dr. Chet Stephens: Golf & Spirituality
By Jock | April 27, 2008
Category: Dr. Chet Stephens
Dear Chet:
I belong to a prominent golf club here on the Main Line. A few of us were sitting around the bar wondering—is it possible to play golf on Sunday mornings without going directly to Hell? We heard you’d be the man to ask. Thanks.
Main Line Members
Dear Main Line Members:
First of all, don’t kid yourselves—golf can be a very spiritual game. I usually have four or five before I even start. And that’s not just Sundays. That’s every day of the week, my friend.
So what I’m saying is: no, I don’t think you’re going to Hell.
And if you don’t believe me, consider these additional golf/spirituality points:
1) Is there a more religious experience than watching the final round of the Masters? That happens on Sunday, on a golf course, doesn’t it?
2) Where else is the name of God invoked more than a golf course? Personally, I think of golf as a four-hour shouting match conversation with the Creator.
3) When you saw the Pope, was he not riding in a GOLF CART?
4) When you’re out on the golf course, 150 out, and the wind is really howling, and you can’t decide whether to hit an easy seven or a hard eight, don’t you ask yourself: What Would Jesus Do? I know I do. If I’m wrong it’s the caddies fault. But if I’m right, it’s a very transcendent experience. Even if I three putt.
5) It’s the Holy Trinity, right? Well, don’t they need a fourth????
Those are just a few of the justifications I’ve used over the years. There are literally thousands more. And if you still find yourself troubled, friends, just remember: there is a historical precedent! After all, God didn’t really rest on the Seventh Day—
He played golf!
Dr. Chet Stephens was formerly America’s #1 Incarcerated Advice Columnist. Last Spring, he was released from prison, after serving 3 years for tax evasion. He has agreed to “occasionally” continue his award-winning, misogynistic advice column Replace Your Divots: Dr. Chet Stephens’ Thoughts on Love, Life & the Game of Golf. Chet is a 37 handicap.